You Can't Love Someone Into Being Better

A Poem

You cannot love someone into being 
better
You cannot love someone into being 
better
Other things must occur
And by other things I mean
Therapy. Lots of therapy
The will to get better
the will to accept change is needed

Nowadays it's called shadow work but 
it's really just dealing with your shit. 
When I say dealing  with your shit I mean 
ALLLL of it
Wished mom woulda hugged me more
wish mom felt like a mom at all
wish I didn't have to be grown up then

So now I

Don't feel grown up at all
Stoic as a child and
Static as an adult
Do I ever accomplish anything?

Anyways like I was saying
You cannot live someone into being 
better
Even when it's me
Trying and not always successful
Loving myself into being better


Real choices need to be made. Do I have 
another drink
Do I have the drink at all
Am I divinely protected or simply smart enough 
enough to set myself up for success
Smart has nothing to do with it
Smart has nothing to do with it
Love has nothing to do with it
It's not about love
It's about a certain baseline we set for ourselves but it was really set for
ourselves but it was really set for us
It's a certain boundary we maintain
when we allow people into our lives who 
are messy and chaotic and destructive 
by nature and cry when they wished 
something else than WHAT THEY DID 
would occur

Do you know the definition of insanity??
It's thinking love is the only thing that 
can change someone

It's love WITH action

So why can't I love myself with action
Wait I do?
When I say affirmations and I do my
meditations but I don't always WANT to 
work at existing
Why can't existing be tireless
Love with action isn't tireless either
So you pick your hard and pick up your 
head and take on more step
Love with action is my reaction to 
feeling like I should be hating myself
I'm tired of hating myself

Anamal is an American poet living in Texas