On Numbers

And Exciting News

Howdy!

The last seven days have been. . . eventful. I went out into the country, finished my first draft of my memoirs, and went halfway through the first round of edits. More work needs to be done on that front, for sure. However, we’re getting closer.

I hope you’ve listened to our latest episode of Shoulder to Shoulder. It was an incredible episode and an opportunity to hear a beautiful story of persistence and moral recovery. We also released the first clip of our newest podcast, Stories From My Brothers: Tales of the Afghan Security Forces. You’ll be getting the whole episode—inshallah—this Thursday.

Over at the Bulwark, I published a piece on Rafah and a fantastic story of an Afghan Army Colonel who made it to the United States against all odds. I’ll also have a few articles out this week in various publications. As always, I’ll make sure to link them here.

Lastly, and most importantly, we’re expanding operations. We’re Americans, for G*d’s sake; we’re constantly expanding operations! Accordingly, we’re now Grump Combat Veteran + Friends. . or wait for it. . wait for it. (GCV-F). OOOOH. A new acronym! You’re welcome, America.

My BFF, Kate Kovarovic, who is also my rock-star co-host on Shoulder to Shoulder, is now the Co-Founder of GCV-F—-GCV-F-4life. Work with me, people! Kate K is a badass, and I’m so excited that she was foolish enough to join forces with me. We will talk more about this in a subsequent email so I won’t belabor the point, but we will bring you more content about war from those who’ve experienced it.

War is not an algebra problem. War is not something that the perfect white paper can remedy. War is inherently human, so it’s full of contradictions: it’s beautiful and ugly; it’s purposeful but also dull; killing is tragic but also exhilarating. With GCV-F, we will aim to explain war in plain language that is accessible to all, often from voices not frequently heard from inside America’s national security agencies. You don’t need a fancy degree to understand war—if that were the truth, we would’ve won in Afghanistan.

We’re so happy to have every one of you as part of our tribe. Please do us a favor and share our products wildly. We need your help to spread the word.

G*d bless you all.

Now, without further ado

---

“How many Afghans did you save?”

People ask me that a lot. Although the Afghan evac community is full of brave Americans who flew to Kabul to rescue Afghans, I was in the rear with the gear during the whole affair. Approximately ten weeks before the fall of Kabul, I had redeployed from Kabul. From June 2020 - June 2021, I served as the United States Air Attache (military diplomat) at the United States Embassy in Kabul.

It was the time of my life.

Finally, I made it to the big leagues. I met with some of the most influential Afghans in the country. They marveled at the depth and breadth of my experience.

“You understand Afghanistan, brother.”

I heard that a lot. I’ve probably read 100+ books on Afghanistan. I spent my entire career reading, studying, and training to deploy throughout Afghanistan. In 2008, I served as the intelligence officer for the Kapisa and Parwan Provincial Reconstruction Team. For various reasons, I split my intelligence responsibilities with then-Staff Sergeant James Meador (who will appear soon on Shoulder to Shoulder). I was primarily responsible for running a Civil Affairs Team with a squad of infantry soldiers as my security force.

I sat with the Afghans, ate inside their homes, removed my body armor, and tried my hardest to connect with them.

I wasn’t very good at it at first. My Iraq experience made me suspicious of getting too close to local nationals, so my guard was always up.

But, due to the mentorship of Major Jeff Hembree, I learned to trust my Afghan brothers and sisters.

“Sit with them,” he would counsel. “And just be there with them. Learn from them first before offering advice.”

Little by little, I learned from Afghans of all walks of life, from soldiers, police officers, mullahs, bankers, and everything in between.

I made so many mistakes—tons of them—but I was hooked by the end of the deployment. It was fun. They were fun. It was all so fascinating. There were stories of fighting the Russians and stories of fighting the mujahideen, too. There were tons of former communists in the Afghan National Army. Most of them were some of the most educated officers. I regularly spoke about Marx with a former communist intelligence officer who helped train Afghans in the Ministry of Interior.

Throughout my time in Afghanistan, I learned that Afghans are survivors. You’ll hear that repeatedly in their stories.

So, when people ask how many Afghans I saved, I nearly always tell the truth: “They saved themselves. I merely wrote some emails and sent some texts.” So, if that counts as saving, then I don’t remember, to be honest.

The year after the fall is such a blur. I only remember bits and pieces of it. I helped so many that I forgot some of them made it. Others, I’ve lost track of. There are far more Afghans who didn’t make it than they did. So, it always feels very icky when people want to quantify my efforts and those of a motley crew of contacts who helped me.

My effort at “saving” Afghans was only possible because thousands of Americans did the right thing and used their influence to protect our allies. Most of them will remain nameless, but there are so many.

However, people love numbers, so I often say, “I probably helped 300 Afghans.” I stopped trying to keep track a long, long time ago. It’s pointless and not necessary. Afghans have large families. I know two Afghans who have ten and eleven kids. Do the math.

There are quite a few who’ve done way more than me. I hope someday, these heroes will step from behind the shadows and share their stories. But, in the end, my greatest pleasure is watching my Afghan allies flourish in the United States.

I know pilots and engineers, accountants at significant corporations, Uber drivers, and those who grind it out on numerous side hustles to make ends meet. They work as refugee aid agencies and inside manufacturing plants.

They are becoming interwoven into this country’s great tapestry. Watching them flourish helps me heal. That’s all I ever wanted out of all of this. Something good. And watching them grow is medicine for the soul.

Until Next Time.